I found the field very fascinating and continued
to learn new things about myself and the children and, consequentially,
my original goal… people.
What are people really looking for
in life? What really makes them happy? Why do they hurt each
other? Why do they hurt themselves?
These were questions
that burned into my head.
I felt that since these young
children were teaching me so much, that if I worked with even younger
children, I might find it to be even more eye opening.
So, I
began working with babies. I learned so many things that I could
write another book on the subject. But that really is... another
story....
Anyway, one day I moved to
They had
a program (with the babies) where they help to teach them to sit up,
they tickle them, they bounce them on their lap, they have them look
at little cards with pictures on them and then tell them what the
pictures are. They do everything they can to stop them from
crying. It seems the main goal is to make them learn faster,
and to “fix” them.
A Quote from the Tao:
“Do you think
you can take over the universe and improve it?
The universe is sacred
You
can not improve it.
If you try to change it, you will ruin it.
If you try to hold it, you will lose it.”
I set up my room
so that the babies would have interesting things to look at and interact
with. I was assigned 6 babies and I laid the babies on the floor on
their backs so that they could freely move their arms and legs…
If they cried I would make sure they didn’t have colic and their basic needs were taken care of (diaper change, food, sleep). If everything was okay, I would sit with them so they would feel safe and say, “Oh I hear you are crying.”
I would sit on the floor and intently
observe them allowing them to explore without judgment or interference. However, once the babies discovered the excitement of their own explorations,
they played most of the time.
Now, the room I was in was
divided by a small wall that was only 3 feet high so that it was easy
to look over to the other side. On the other side of the wall,
was another teacher with 6 infants she was caring for.
She
was a good mother, a good wife, and a good teacher. She never missed
a day’s work, always came in on time, was very clean, and did everything
she was supposed to do.
She sang to them, she put
them in upright “sitting” positions in an attempt to teach them to
sit up. She did everything she could to stop them from crying. So
when they cried, she would put pacifiers in their mouths, and entertain
them anyway she could.
However, even though it was her
goal to make the babies quiet and happy, they seemed to become more
unhappy every day.
She often times complained about
her ungrateful babies… She would say under her righteous breath, “I
am so good to them. I do so much for them and they don’t appreciate
it. They just want me to entertain them all the time. They are so
spoiled.”
A truly good man is not aware of his goodness,
And
is therefore good
A foolish man tries to be good,
And is therefore not
good.”
One day after we had worked side by side for around
a year and had seen babies come and go, she leaned over the divider
shaking with anger and covered in sweat and belted out with a shaky
voice, “It’s not fair! You don’t do anything! You just sit there on
the floor! It’s just not fair!” Then she let out a big sigh,
“YOU always get the GOOD babies and I always get the BAD babies!”
I
couldn’t respond to her right away because I was so shocked. I thought about the concept of a bad baby. It just sounded so
crazy and impossible that I could not say a word. Then after
a while I said calmly, “Well, why don’t you give me your worst baby.”
She
said with relief, “Okay, we will trade. I will take one of your babies
and you can have one of mine.”
I shuddered at the thought. I thought to myself that there is NO WAY I would subject any of the
babies in my room to the kind of treatment the babies were going through
over there. So I said, “Oh, that’s okay… You can just set your
baby over here. I will keep these babies too.”
She looked
at me with a puzzled look and said with a confused tone, “Okaaaay.”
She
went and got her worst baby….
Sarah…
I will never
forget Sarah… She was a little blond girl. I had never
really seen her eyes because they were always swollen and shut and
her little face was usually covered in snot as she was constantly
screaming. The only time she wasn’t screaming was when Paula
was bouncing her up and down or shaking a rattle in her face.
Paula plopped Sarah down into my room with a triumphant “Here!”
(Like she was saying: This will show you. Now your life
will be hard too.)
Sarah was screaming as she sat her down. I moved close to her and checked everything to make sure she was safe
and comfortable. I reached out to pick her up but she pushed me away.
Then I leaned in and said to her, “Wow. You are really screaming.
Your screaming sounds like anger.”
Of course she didn’t hear me because she was screaming and her eyes were shut. Her arms and legs were not moving. They were just motionless and useless limbs. She seemed to have no since of self. It was as if she had no idea that she even existed. It appeared as if she only knew of happiness that came from an outside source…
Her only joy seemed to come from....“entertainment or food.”
“Music
or the smell of good cooking
May make people stop and enjoy.
But the
words that point to the Tao
Seem monotonous and without flavor.
When
you look for it, there is nothing to see.
When you listen for it, there
is nothing to hear.
When you use it, it is inexhaustible.”
